THE IMPOSSIBLE TEST

“What do the colors mean?” William asked at breakfast.

Onyx was already in his trench coat. “Purple represents my personality as it’s designed to be. It reminds me of the traits I try to lean into or manifest. Black is darkness. As silence is to the ears, darkness is to the eyes. It reminds me to keep my life free from all distractions, to minimize external stimulation, and to control what I allow into my head space. Purity is power.”

“That makes sense. Onyx isn’t your real name then, is it? It’s another symbol of darkness.”

The Arbiter stared down at his bagel. Maybe he was thinking about how to respond.

William waited.

“It’s more than that. It’s the name I gave who I want to be, who I could be if I fully embraced my design. It’s my vision for myself.”

“So, you made it. You’re using the name.”

“A person is simultaneously their present state and the state they’re moving toward. Even if you fail this test, for example, some part of you is already a member of The Deep because your life has the trajectory of a member of The Deep. That’s established, and you should take great pride in that. Now we’re just seeing if it has passed the threshold.”

William didn’t fully understand. Did that answer his question? “So you call yourself Onyx because you have the trajectory of Onyx.”

“Yes. I don’t perfectly embody the vision, but I’m always getting closer.”

“What determines the threshold?” William asked. “I mean for The Deep.”

“You have to consistently and noticeably represent the four tenets. People should see that you are living by intent and meaning.”

William nodded. He pondered that conversation as he got ready and drove to work.

Onyx asked, “Did you get tomorrow off?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I forgot to tell you.”

When William parked, Onyx put his hand out for the keys. “I need to borrow your car while you’re working.”

William didn’t let anyone borrow his car. His mind raced and eyes froze on the apparatus he used to control the gas and brake.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take off your hand controls before I try to drive it.”

“Please…” William was going to say something obvious. Instead, he released the keys. “Okay.”

He went from nine to five without seeing Onyx. He thought about how to influence his coworkers and help them become more full people, but today was not the day to chat. He worked as efficiently as possible to make sure his day off wouldn’t cause problems for his team.

His car was exactly where he’d left it. The hand controls were attached, and Onyx was in the passenger seat. It was like nothing had moved. When he started the car, though, the low fuel light came on. He asked, “Did you do everything you needed to?”

“Yeah.”

William turned on his music, but Onyx turned it down. “What did you do well today? And what did you struggle with?”

“I got a lot done. I was smart about how I did things and diligent. I struggled to think positively about… people and the company and what we’re doing. That leaked into my communications. I could’ve been nicer.”

“Any thoughts on the purpose of humanity?”

Yesterday, William familiarized himself with some of the major philosophies. “Maybe it’s to manage the world. I don’t know. Humans do so many things.”

“What if that’s part of it too: experiencing all aspects of reality?”

“Maybe. I don’t know what philosophy that fits, though. All those questions are connected,” William mentioned, pulling into a gas station.

After the gym and dinner, the men were tired. William did a little more research but that’s it.